Game Preparation Gifts

"You killed it, you clean it."

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

Church for sports worshipers.

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

Exam

Four Types of Test-Takers...

'OK, everybody, calm down,,,'

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

Nervous Oral Testing

Check your universal remote control at the door.

'What'll it cost me to got in shape for yardwork season?'

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

'Let's give it five more minutes. If they haven't eased up on the lasers by then, we'll have to postpone the game.'

Examinations.

"This crucial pre-game drill keeps you focused and eliminates distractions!"

"Yes! I hit a triple. Woo-hoo."

American Football.

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

Rugby Players and Supporters Essential Supplies

"Compromise? What the hell is there between safe and out?"

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

'Half-time, full-time - It's gone into penalties, woman!'

"That's us stocked up for the Wimbledon final then..."

'He's checking with his agent to see if it's okay to score a try!'

'Well, I'm glad to have you with us!'

"...and then while I was at soccer practice they moved house."

'I Marianne, promise to see all of your games in sickness or in health, for richer or poorer until death do I watch.'

'Talk to my lawyer.'

Rock champion (Rock, paper, scissors).

Kick! Go for it!

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

'I'm getting ready as fast as I can, and for the last time, it's a vanity table, not a 'workstation'.'

Fan-Centric Stadium

And the crowd goes wild—except for Mary, because she wasn't paying attention.

"Can we fast forward through the 7th inning stretch?"