Playoff Preppers Gifts

"Honestly, I don't really start paying attention until the playoffs."

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

A sun opens its mouth to eat a burning Earth

Zombie Problems

Rugby Players and Supporters Essential Supplies

"If the meeting goes on for longer than scheuled...I'm prepared!"

Cheer up-things aren't so bad.....

The End is Nigh

"That's us stocked up for the Wimbledon final then..."

Human Resources Dept. When the boss says you're on the "short list" for promotion, it's not a crack about your height.

The 5 paragraph essay is sooo stupid. Why do we have to learn it? So you can get good SAT scores. That will get you into a good college, and then a good job. So you never have to write another 5-paragraph essay again.

Energy Conservation Be Damned. Fred constantly prepared for Global Warming and Nuclear Winter to happen at the same time.

"My next book? It will probably be about rising up and crushing humanity."

Judgment Day is coming next Monday. Repent. Now, hold on. How can I believe you when so many dire prophecies haven't come true? I sealed myself in a shelter twice in the late '60s, hid in the Appalachian Mountains a decade later. A huge bunching of Judgment Day visions in the late '80s led me to simply get a time share in the Colorado mountains … Getting out of town doesn't spare you Judgment Day. I don't think. Lemme double-check the clues in Marmaduke. Mostly I needed an excuse to get away. Th

The Ambivalence of a Nice Day in February

"This isn't just about the wolf anymore, is it?"

There's been lots of unexplained shaking and booming noises in the middle of the night - all over the world. Some thing earth's entered a part of space filled with meteors too big to burn up in our atmosphere. Others think governments are building a network of underground bases to save a select few from a coming apocalypse. A lot of people think the world's about to end, Susan. If it were anyone but you, I'd thinking this was a pickup line. For the first time in my life, all my favorite shows go

Climate Change Contingency House

"We're running late. Just pick a facial expression already."

I survived end of the world after party.

Goldfish Insurance: " We must insure against a deluge of BIBLICAL proportions. . ."

"Ned is getting ready for the oceans to rise."

Safe harbour

Zoo Football League. Don't worry. They're formidable opponents in the early season but they'll be hibernating by the time the playoffs start.

"The asteroid will hit in 2032, but I’m prepared!"

'I'd chalk it up to just another crazy backyard hobby...'

'The earth's protective magnetic field is weakening! The sun will incinerate us all!'

Cricket

'I want to be ready when the sea level rises!'

'If the global economy goes bust, there's a middle east war, and ocean levels rise. . .our 'Armageddon fund' will do just fine.'

When he runs out of beans, Lou discovers that civilization was not, after all, destroyed on January 1, 2001.

"No fair! How come Baldo gets his class schedule before school starts?"

"Wow! I think you just moved up in the playoffs, Tom!"

'Of course this game is educational; how else could I prepare for a zombie apocalypse.'