Preparing For A Big Game T-Shirts

'During these qualifiers there's to be no late nights and no sex...not even with your wives.'

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

Check your universal remote control at the door.

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

"Yes! I hit a triple. Woo-hoo."

Rugby Players and Supporters Essential Supplies

The Airport.

Penguin suit fitting.

'Just tell me. You don't need to drag that out every time I ask how I look.'

"That's us stocked up for the Wimbledon final then..."

"Where should we fly to for our next vacation?"

'I'm getting ready as fast as I can, and for the last time, it's a vanity table, not a 'workstation'.'

Before her first dressage competition, Kate suffered from Pre-Traumatic Stress.

'Him? Oh, he's my job interview coach.'

'Lenny NEVER had any problems with cramped seats at football games - like most people do.'

"This was the best school day of the week!"

"Nothing ruins a Friday more than waking up and realizing it's only Thursday."

Cricket

Nobody has been on the this team longer, without actually playing in a game than you guys. We're setting a benchmark!

Coming to a crossroads in his life, Pinnochio faced a difficult decision.

"Fasten your money belt."

"You killed it, you clean it."

"£200,000, that's going to but one great holiday."

"I'm training for a three day tournament."

'When do they swop shirts...'

Excess Baggage: The conception of electronic ticketing still has a few airline passengers spooked.

Immodiu, Ibruprofen, Clarityn, Sudofed, Paracetemol, Nurofen, Rennies, Diareze... - 'What are you doing?' - 'Packing for my holiday to Egypt.' - 'How ill are you planning on being, exactly?' - 'Ah, that reminds me... can I borrow a bucket from you for a

"Honestly, I don't really start paying attention until the playoffs."

"I dreamed the Yankees lost in Game Seven."

Last chance to tell your bomb joke

"Trek, you know, means to walk to the top of Mt Everest!"

"I just get a little tense before everything."

Hey Darlene, have you ever sued anyone for libel? Not yet. But it is on my bucket list. I've scheduled if for January 19th, 2032. Right after "visit Machu Picchu" and right before "renovate and flip a house." I firmly believe in planning ahead. I've got everything mapped out. Go ahead, try me. March 1st, 2075. Reincarnate as a level-24 mature soul.