Preparedness Pursuer Gifts

Box of Tissues

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

"I'd like to book 10 days going anywhere they've never heard of Brexit."

A sturdy hand-hold against the vicissitudes of life: $1.00 per minute.

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

'Howard's doing things he's always wanted to with his redundancy money.'

"I don't care what anybody says, coffee just tastes better in a tree stand. . ."

She required plenty of personal space.

Noise Pollution

'As you go through life, always remember that money isn't everything...Health benefits and stock options are also very important.'

'My purse! The original 24-hour pharmacy.'

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

"Once more, with fury."

'The Karma of the marketplace is about to overwhelm the Dogma of policy making,'

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

Truthfully, I'm just a frustrated insurance agent …

Emergency Underpants

The only creation God was truly proud of was the Sabbath

'Honey. . . I'm ommmmmmmmmmmmmmm.'

Ned's Northingness: All the Nothing You Need To Achieve Mindfulness

The idea of a wo-man cave was looking better and better.

'Frankly I'm all meditated out.'

"The key to happiness is privacy. Hear what I'm sayin'?"

'Bragging at the Old Physicists' & Old Writers' Home.'

Ewe-topia - An imaginary perfect place where Ewes exist, their version of Utopia.

"I thought it was a breakthrough, but it was only a misplace decimal."

"I always like to have plenty of 'walking around' nuts."

Great. What do I get the man who already HAS nothing? It's a birthday party.

"By the time I climbed up to this job, I was too tired to do it."

"Behold my perfect window of existence, when I'm neither trying to wake up nor falling asleep."

Meditation: Do Not Disturb.

Working from Om

'Phew! What a day! I almost lost my aura of supreme tranquility.'

"Please hold my calls."

A musical instrument shop is positioned next to a silent treatment shop.