Prehistoric Novelty Seeker Gifts

Stone-age Patents

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

"The Ice Age must've caught him by surprise..."

The first car accident.

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

The discovery of asparagus.

Those Were The Days

"Daddy's working from home today."

"The invention of taxidermy."

Caveman has a good idea for the wheel.

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

If humans instead of dinosaurs had lived when the big asteroid hit.

'We unfortunately had to compress our dinosaur area due to budget cuts. On the bright side, TyrannoTriStegoApatoHadroPlesioSaurodon Rex here is now the museum's most popular exhibit.'

The First Kite

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'

"Look! Other people. We'll have to develop a foreign policy!"

Big Rock University. Guidance Counselor. I'd like to switch my major from hunting to gathering!

'O mighty gods! - May you grant us food, clothing, and shelter, and the wisdom to know the difference.'

"I like it but does it get only the one channel?"

Early man wasn't exactly enthusiastic about the development of language.

"Say, Honey, how about a nice salad for supper instead?"

"I'd like you to see an Anthropologist.''

We never got anything done around here until we invented verbs.

Reinventing the Wheel

'Of course, I'm not one of those glamorous paleontologists who are all over TV these days.'

'Why is it always me that has to put the cat out?'

'Dear, couldn't you spend part of your time actually hunting something?'

Sober Tooth Tiger

"...One careful owner, not much mileage. In fact, I only invented it last week."

"According to your resume, you've done nothing of any real significance since inventing the wheel."

'Dad, can I borrow the club tonight?'

Good luck with that quest for fire thing! I'm just going over there to eat some grass!

"Oh, this? It can access every piece of knowledge from the history of mankind and I hate it."

Hunter-gatherer. Planter-gardener. Scratcher-napper. Barker-wagger. Complainer-nagger.