Pregnancy Whisperer Pillows

"Yeah, I know it's hard for her with a 22-month pregnancy, but I suffer too: it's a long time to cater to her cravings!"

'A work in Progress.'

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

Batman at the Maternity Ward

Cry babies.

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

'The child is very illogical'

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

"Same old same old. How about you?"

'Can you tell me what I've written? I can't read!'

Mother Nature

Human Behavior Institute. Out Experiencing Lunch.

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

"He's such a fussy eater."

'Grandma, does the hospital charge by the pound when people have babies?'

'I'm not too sure about that.'

A Tit for Tat.

'So far I've found out the doctor had something to do with it.'

"That is one absorbent nappy."

"Study her closely...the laughing eyes, the dimpled smile...she's got 'em right where she wants 'em."

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

"They're born into captivity, it's all they know."

'So this is goodbye then!'

"You go out first. Signal me if it's safe!!"

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"