Newborn Whisperer Pillows

'He's just been getting the baby off to sleep.'

"He takes after your mother"

'The new baby? Oh he's great! I haven't slept in 4 days, but the baby is great!'

"I hate 2:00 am feedings."

Mum and the Sleepless Baby

Why it's called child-rearing.

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

Batman at the Maternity Ward

Cry babies.

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

'The child is very illogical'

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

"Same old same old. How about you?"

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

'Can you tell me what I've written? I can't read!'

Mother Nature

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

"He's such a fussy eater."

'Grandma, does the hospital charge by the pound when people have babies?'

'I'm not too sure about that.'