Baby Whisper Pillows

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

Batman at the Maternity Ward

Cry babies.

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

"Quick, start the car!"

'The child is very illogical'

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

Dog Dreams

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

"Same old same old. How about you?"

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

'You know too much!'

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."