Pregnancy Warrior Pillows

'It's Mrs. O'Hara...the one whose due date was 37 days ago...she's angry.'

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

The Three Wise Queens

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

Mom, there's a simple explanation for this...Aliens from outer space.

Baby pram as a tank

'We'll need lots of nappy changes today, the T. V. just said it's going to be wet and windy.'

Well, we thought we had childproofed the house

'Stop pulling that silly face, Dear.'

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

Woman's Support Group: No Bra, No Griddle, No Service.

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

'I'm not spoiled - I always smell like this.'

'If you take this job, you will need child care... that's my second job.'

"I exercised so much during my first pregnancy that the baby was born with athlete's foot."

'Tommy's doing fine. I'm concerned about your poor fund-raising record. You sold only two magazine subscriptions and one measly candy bar.'

"Has your mom tried turning him off and back on again?"

'You've got the Vietnam 1000 yard stare. All new parents get it!'

That's my daughter, Alayna

'Beware of teething baby.'

Buggy with Snowplow.

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

"Congrats! It's a health future unequally paid sexual harassment victim!"

Woman telling her husband not to swear in front of the baby.

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

Pinata good bags.

Woman feeding baby is covered in food.

"Jackson Pollock's diaper"

'Hey, Dad. We learned all about the Kama Sutra at school today... Oh no, not the Kama Sutra, I mean The Magna Carta.'

Baby on Board

"Good luck Mr. Bond, you have one minute to diffuse this tantrum."

"'Parent' should always be an action verb."

"No, I wasn't in a car accident. As a new parent, I'm still trying not to trip on all the toys on the floor."

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'