Pregnancy Planner Pillows

Baby in womb chooses from multiple choice pregnancy symptoms...

"I didn't realise it could be so complicated!"

"There's a scheduling conflict - I'd like to move her morning sickness up to the afternoon."

"Happy Mother's Day! I ordered you something from Amazon!"

"Well - you guessed it!"

"You're a bit late for your antenatal appointment!"

Pregnancy.

Ultrasound Monitor makes Doctors Laugh.

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

Please take a number.

'Has hypochondria definitely been ruled out?'

Baby name suggestions.

"I trust I don't get them mixed up. The midwife will be weraing a badge. Mum will be wearing a sigh of relief."

"What's going on? No idea! They're screaming, kissing and hugging! That's weird since, just a few second ago, she was in the bathroom peeing on a little stick..."

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

Babies.

"Please, James...will you stop worrying whether the baby will meet all government regulations!"

"After the whole history of human evolution, you'd have thought a bigger birth canal would have developed!"

Maternity ward.

"I'm going to need more minutes. I'm texting for two now!"

Frog Baby Names

Baby reading 'To do list'.

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

"We've gone old fashioned and decided against finding out the sex of my obstetrician."

"You need to stop pressing the snooze button on your biological clock."

'Let me get this clear. You want me to give you paternity leave before the baby is born.'

'I can't say what the market's going to do, but you're going to have fourteen children.'