Pregnancy Guru Gifts

Woman uses 'sitting stick' to hold up her belly.

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

'What's play?'

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

"Is there a vegan option?"

So … you do a lot of yoga?

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

Playing Mozart to the baby.

"Migration? I love chasing the endless summer, but travelling such distances with kids is exhausting..."

'You the one who called Amnesty International?'

Six-tier Communal Cradle.

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

The AdRams Family no.13 - Exams

"Adorable. Is yours a rescue too?"

'Trust me, the term 'blissfully pregnant' is an oxymoron.'

Parent Involvement Tip #1

'The best way to teach my son is by example, you know: Monkey see, monkey do...'

A Boy and His Mother

"All this stuff? I'm meeting for two now."

"Do you ever get the feeling that maybe the baby is listening to us?"

"No. I've never had any problems with my kids not paying attention to me."

Gangs of New York

"Wow! According to this if I dig straight down I'll find a delivery suite."

Baby on Board

Welcome to the uterus. Please be seated. Your mother will be with you in nine months.

"Go ask your search engine."

"Gracie, we're rich because we love one another...we have a safe home and we don't go to bed hungry at night."

'My mom says we're expecting a house guest for 18 years.'

'I know they look geeky - but I believe lat good parenting should always come before style.'