Pregnancy Comedy Fan Gifts

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

Maternity Ward

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

'Yes, the baby should arrive soon: Her nesting instinct is in overdrive!'

'You want Chinese food? Are you going to have a baby or something?'

'We're hoping to sell the naming rights.'

'Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?..'

Welcome to the uterus. Please be seated. Your mother will be with you in nine months.

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'When will I start to look 'radiant and blooming'?'

'This is boring. This uterus could sure do with a fast forward button.'

"Six down, three to go!!"

"I'm sorry, but we're not an online retailer. We can't guarantee delivery in 2 days."

"At which trimester will I be able to communicate with my baby via text?"

"If mum's aerobic classes are to continue I'll need a passenger safety airbag fitted!"

"After 9 months floating here, instead of a birth certificate I should get a diver certification."

Maternity Wing Sign: Please Wait To Push

Caution: False Contractions Ahead

Pregnant vs. Old.

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Could I examine your cervix?'

'Houdini's mother had an odd and difficult pregnancy.' 'Oh no. He's gone again!'

"Podca-a-a-a-a-a-ast!!!"

"It's a birthing position, Dan. Quit yelling 'Hike.'"

101 Placenta Recipes

'Looks like Tungor's wife's waters have broken.'

The Last Few Weeks of Pregnancy.

'Two more months!...who's delivering this baby...the post office?'

Pregnant Juliets nurse using police code to threaten Romeo