Pregnancy Care Gifts

"Please note nurse: healthy baby, next appointment in two weeks..."

Cry babies.

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

TAP TAP TAP TAP

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

'I believe we've located the cause of your back problem, Mrs. Kangaroo.'

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

"Will you be putting her in day care or bringing her up artisanally?"

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"Have you and Tim picked out a name for the career obstacle yet?"

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

31. 19. 55.7.

Fertility goddess. Nanny goddess.

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

A little bird told me...

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"