Precocious Ponderer Gifts

"Do I have to declare this as income to the IRS?"

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

Pre-Historic Gentleman's Duel

Young ladies ponder the relationship of a man with a young boy

'Soon, you will start to notice changes in your body... massive, horrifying changes.'

'I know it's hard to believe. But biological speaking, they're our closest relatives.'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

Fish crawls from the primordial soup.

Frog Baby Names

Sex Education

Lost and Profound.

'Mummy, what's a daddy one of those called?'

'The reports were right...he's using tools!'

"That would've gone better if I'd gotten here with my gift list instead of my spelling list."

'If only Darwin could have seen this!'

"OK, now you've gone back too far."

'So there's global warming. What possible harm could it do?'

Question Mark

Fish to friend regarding third fish leaving Precambrian ocean: 'There's been no living with him since he started to evolve.'

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

'Now that's just low-down mean.'

"Take a few minutes to introduce yourself, Ms. Berry. Not that they don't already have you pegged."

Mankind

Al, you look nonplussed. I just heard that they discovered a new astrological sign, and my birthday now falls under the sign of the jackass.

'...if you look at it in the right way it begins to make sense.'

Fingers

'I should know who he is! His work is in every gallery I go into.'

'Am I covered if a car falls on my tree?'

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

'Knock the corners off that mate - and you've got the wheel.'

'He's saying 'Enough bananas - I'm also a carnivore'.'

The Quack Quack Diaries - Quack Quack Gets Repossessed

'It's my dreams: I find them offensive.'