Prayer Protector Gifts

When telemarketers pray.

Grace For Flies

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

"I was saying a silent prayer, but I must have dozed off and talked in my sleep."

"Coronavirus, masks requirements, falling test scores, student violence - we need to be able to pray in school!"

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

Monk Prompt

'Bless this food we are about to receive, all except the broccoli. Bless the apple pie twice.'

"Are our prayers answered whether we have an iphone or an android?"

'I'm just going to say my prayers. Any requests?'

Praying mantis.

'I guess you've noticed that most of these trespasses are reruns.'

Kid praying: 'If it's okay with you, don't record this one.'

Various Birds of Pray.

Child praying - asks god to bless his family and the new motorbike he's bought with his father's credit card.

Nun confronts mugger.

"What do I click on after I say 'Amen'?"

'This is the one - we want you to pray for this one.'

"Bob, you've been warned before. You can't come to prayer just to gather gossip material."

And cut down on the praying if you want the housemaid's knee to go...

"You don't have to worry about using up your minutes."

Holy phone

Man prays: 'Lord help me to be humble, and I want that by 10am Monday.'

'God Bless Momma, and Daddy and Fluffy...'

'This is the Rabbi's favourite.'

"...and help my parents to pick the right mutual funds in my portfolio for my education..."

'You've had enough!'

"Say the whole prayer, none of this et cetera, et cetera..."

'That's all for tonight, God. Stay tuned.'

Husband to kneeling wife: 'Praying for a snow day is great, Martha, except that we live in Boca Raton.'