Prank Call Initiator Pillows

'Look, buddy, I'm a busy man -- stop calling me up and saying 'blub, blub, blub'!'

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

"I'm away from my desk or on another line. Please leave a message at the sound of my impersonation of a beep."

'I'm going to have to transfer you to someone I don't like.'

'Brain surgery, Harold? Have you lost your mind?!'

'Waiter, there's a cell phone in my soup.'

"Come on... you love knocking things off the counter!"

"You're young enough to play tag, but not old enough to borrow my phone to play phone tag."

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

'Hold on, there might be someone more interesting on the other line...'

"I'm ringing you because there's nobody in the carriage to annoy..."

"The secret of time management? Never take anyone off hold."

'Sir, you need special help to fix this problem. Please hold the line whilst I put you through to our exorcist.'

"First caller is Rudolph, from the North Pole, you're on Rudolph. What's your problem?!. . . And before you speak, lt me just remind everyone that I spent ten years as a detective specializing in tracking down prank callers and mercilessly destroying their self-esteem."

'It's for you.'

"I'm sorry – you have the wrong language."

'Are you gonna answer that?'

A.T.&T.'s New Competitors

"Yethhh, hello. . .are you clothed?"

"Hi, my name's Mike. I'm calling from the Government to let you know your Social Security Number has been suspended..."

Aklexander Graham Bell, making the first call from New York to Chicago, gets a wrong number.

'I'm going to have to let you go. Even though you're one of the best computer programmers we've ever had, we just can't tolerate you eating the other employees.'

Throw-Your-Voice Mail.

I can't come in today. I haven't got chronic diarrhoea!

'Stupid telebarketers.'

"I'm sorry, he's not here right now, but I could get one of his socks for you."

'I'm away from my desk. At the sound, please leave a message.' (Man has horn in his hand).

Cold-calls.

"Hey, is your refrigerator running?" Jake and Billy make their last prank call.

I'm away from my desk, please leave a message after my interpretation of a beep.

'I can't tell if it's an obscene phone call or one of your friends panting.'

'Blasted caller ID! I can't get through to anybody!'

'Phone-b-gone, gets rid of unwanted phones.'

"You have a collect call...do you accept the charges?"