Practical Romantic Gifts

'Yes, I will marry you, Bob. I've decided I'd like having something to fall back on if my career tanks.'

'Marry me and I'll let you share my electric blanket!'

'This year I'm celebrating Valentines Day by myself, I have to economize.'

'Will you marry me and at the same time agree to take out divorce insurance?'

"Emily, I want you to be the mother who hires the nanny of my children."

"I bought it on Amazon. They have a good return policy."

"I said I'd give you the world, didn't I?"

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

'Sometimes it's difficult to get their feelings to the surface.'

Say it with flowers

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

Rude Snowpeople

Sorry, I can't talk right now, I'm giving my baby a bottle.

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

'Shuck me.'

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

"I thought you did a great job with your gender neutral statements ... There will be a second date."

The point in every relationship, when annoying habits become intolerable...

"Well, hello there yourself!"

"You never chase me through back yards anymore."

Cat Love Ads: "Are you; 'Stubborn, lazy, unfaithful and psychopathic...with no sense of humour?""

"Was it as good for you as it was for me?"

'I'd be more impressed that you bought me flowers if you didn't take a job as a delivery boy to get the employee discount.'

'Will you marry me if I can get funding?'

Cupid

Man and Woman suck in their stomachs in order to impress.

"Why would I care if you're not a pure breed? That's a human concern! Sure, I'll go out with you tonight..."

I Drew a Hot Guy

'Perhaps we should leave details of the divorce settlement until after we are married.'

"May we see your kids' menu please?"

CFL bulb and ice cream cone fall in love

"Happy anniversary, dear. How about a second honeymoon?" "Sure. Who with?"

"I appreciate couples therapy, but I can't stop fantasizing about group therapy."

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'