Practical Gift Enthusiast Pillows

"One day you'll understand the joy of receiving socks and pajamas."

I should have known the romance was gone from our relationship when...

"Now, a romantic gift is a new robe and slippers."

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

'As a token of friendship we present to you this sacred albino fawn.' 'We sailed all the way across the Atlantic Ocean, and all you have is light deer?!'

CEO.

"I think you've overfed the plant!"

On the fifth day, Neville opts for jewelry.

'We leave for France tomorrow. I just can't wait to visit all those famous museum gift shops!'

'Wait until you see what you got me!'

The Re-Giving Tree

"Read the card! Read the card!"

Christmas Dwarves

Adrenaline is flowing down there with lots of last-minute, panicked Christmas shoppers! The DNA is frantically looking for heirlooms that'll be passed on in succeeding generations. It seems no price is too high for the helium atom - it's buying everything! Meanwhile, the neutron can't charge and hasn't been able to buy a single gift! Tempers are getting short! A big nerve angered other shoppers by blatantly cutting in the checkout line! And there's a quarrel over a parking spot with a whit

"I'm not giving up the present till I see the party bag."

So what else did you get for your birthday?

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

'What I really want, Santa, is a front row seat for the Olympic Beach Volleyball games.'

"I see many gifts. They say do not open till Christmas."

Visit Santa today...sponsored by Acme Razor Company

"Gold ... Frankincense ... Myrrh ... why wouldn't wise men bring diapers?"

"Honey - this is soooo special!"

'Now a romantic gift is a new robe and slippers.'

'You're kidding? Your birthday wasn't REALLY six weeks ago was it, darling?'

'Just what I wanted. Not!'

'Where are you, Mrs. Harris? I have another delivery for you.'

'It's my stool sample.'

"We still don't have a diagnosis for your rash, so we're going to run some more money on it and see what happens."

"Sorry I'm late. Argos was a nightmare."

'You remembered our anniversary!'

Father Goldfish: 'One day Son, this will all be yours.'

'Eric, who gave me a handmade bookmark for Christmas, gets a 62 percent on the midterm. Ann gave me a mug. She gets a 71. Gina gave me a weekend for two in Vienna. She scored a 98!'

The wedding-day - fourteenth anniversary.

"What should we get your mother for her birthday? - How about travelers' checks?"

'Me, I'm making my pocket money by selling my dad's old shoes as lucky charms...'