Power Potato Gifts

A middle-manager relaxing on his day off...

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

University Soapflakes

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

"Just pick one!! We're already late!!"

'He does what he wants - I blame that new manager, Mourinho!'

'I'll have the Chairman-of-the-board Lunch, and Dexter here will have the Sissy's Salad.'

"When you are done exercising your finger, the cat would like to talk to you!"

The Hypnotato,

'I only come to the game for the half time entertainment and snack bar privileges.'

'I follow my doctor's orders religiously. He said for me to spend two hours a day on the tennis court.'

Football Fan.

"Sorry Brian, bit of a rush this morning - I've left my face in the car."

Use it or lose it.

Wanted - for cow rustling, gun fighting and high levels of starchiness.

"I'm inspired to try to run a marathon."

"We don't have a businessman's lunch, sir. Would you like to try the businesswoman's lunch?"

Potato singing - 'Peelings,, Nothing more than Peelings,,'

The Potato Man

"Hibernation's over, Liam, football's started again!"

"No more for you, spuddy, you're starting to get a chip on your shoulder."

'Someday, daughter, this will all be yours.'

'Very good, Now ten more reps...and a one, and a two and ...'

"...and our cremation options include french fried, baked, roasted and hash browned."

Jersey Potato

'How come Edwards always gets to use the pointy stick?'

'Leg it - we've left our prints all over the place!'

Runner thinking about sleeping.

'The Pharaohs had gold and jewellery as burial objects. When I'm dead, I want the TV remote control to get buried with me.'

"Where do you see yourself in five potatoes?"

"It's his contribution to the environment"

'Ben's disappointed. He thought it said 'stud'.' (Ed's Spud Farm).

'Come on, dad - energy efficient is the new couch potato.'

'I'll have the absolute power lunch.'

'Running is a great form of exercise, even if it's only to get to the takeaway before closing time.'