Couch Potato Turned Athlete Gifts

'Running is a great form of exercise, even if it's only to get to the takeaway before closing time.'

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

'He usually doesn't follow medical advice, but when the doctor told him to learn to relax...'

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

Homo Zapiens

Unconditional Loveseat

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

'Where does the teacher get this? Wilbur shows no motivation in class!'

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

'Now that's Real TV!'

"It's tough to get him moving, but once he's going he never stops."

Starvation Watching

"This lockdown is GREAT! - We can spend all day on our computers, eating takeaway junk food and watching crap TV while gambling on our iphones!"

'My husband likes to have everything handy during TV commercials.'

'I'm not lazy - just resting before I get tired...'

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.

"That's Reubens, he's an alternate lifestyle coach."

I think he's joking. "Placebo" can't be a real medical science term. It sounds like a funny name for a clown.

"Another CSI spinoff? What's this one called?"

'My arms are getting shorter.'

"Let's see what's going on in the world."

'The Cup Final's just starting-think I should wake him?'

'Ironically, sportswear is the most comfortable clothing for doing nothing in.'

"10,000 steps...just answering doorbells."

"I'm sorry, you must have me confused with someone that does yard work."

"Hang on, I'll get him for you."

'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'

'What a Summer of Sport, eh?'

'I don't care what he says, child labor laws were never intended to protect the rights of children in their mid-30s.'

"He's fine, Ma'm."