Potatoes Gifts

Wanted - for cow rustling, gun fighting and high levels of starchiness.

"...and our cremation options include french fried, baked, roasted and hash browned."

Potato singing - 'Peelings,, Nothing more than Peelings,,'

The Hypnotato,

'Ben's disappointed. He thought it said 'stud'.' (Ed's Spud Farm).

'Leg it - we've left our prints all over the place!'

"No more for you, spuddy, you're starting to get a chip on your shoulder."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

"I'd go with you, but I'm a non-sporting breed."

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

Love is when you watch television together.

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

'The anger management is working... tonight there were fewer veins popping.'

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

"Clive used to be an astronaut."

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"Er...nothing much has happened yet today...."