Potatoes Pillows

Wanted - for cow rustling, gun fighting and high levels of starchiness.

"...and our cremation options include french fried, baked, roasted and hash browned."

Potato singing - 'Peelings,, Nothing more than Peelings,,'

The Hypnotato,

'Ben's disappointed. He thought it said 'stud'.' (Ed's Spud Farm).

'Leg it - we've left our prints all over the place!'

"No more for you, spuddy, you're starting to get a chip on your shoulder."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

Bowled over again!

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

"I'd go with you, but I'm a non-sporting breed."

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

"Clive used to be an astronaut."

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

'The anger management is working... tonight there were fewer veins popping.'

Love is when you watch television together.

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."