Poultry Whisperers Pillows

"When you people start working eggs into the conversation, it's really code for something else,right?"

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

Polly txt speak

Children's Parties

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

"Foster failure"

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

Girl wags her pony tail as dog wags his tail.

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

I guess she had other plans for you.

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

Hush puppy.

Two old superheroes on a park bench feeding the birds.

Raised by Dogs

"Yeah, I don't like this part either."

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

Collies Without Borders

'okay...where did you hide it?'

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

"This never happened."

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

Obedience School/Disobedience School.

'Don't worry about getting lost, folks. These trails are all well marked. . . if I do say so myself.'

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

A woman drawing birds makes them fly around the room.

Any idea how long your family might be visiting?

"I finally gave in, I got sick of hearing, 'Polly want a podcast?... Polly want a podcast!'"

"Looks like a pretty quiet night out there, huh, girl?"

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

"What did you think was going to happen when you filled the feeder with lasagna?"