Pet Whisperers Pillows

'I'm not hungry. I ate with Rover.'

'Your anger towards us can't be healthy, so we hope this intervention helps.'

"After a long career of eating his homework, I've retired as a consultant to his paper shredder."

'If I act selfish, independent and introverted, it's because I'm a cat trapped in a dog's body.'

'He says I was REALLY over charged!'

Animals bringing pipe, slippers, and magazine.

'You want something? It has to do with your dish? Darn, I wish dogs could talk.'

'Worms!? She must have picked them up on the Internet.'

'...And this is no man's land!'

Football Manager's Parrot

'Open your nostrils wide and sniff...?'

Trust me on this: Never dry a cat in the microwave without first poking a few holes in it.

Dogs are from Mars... cats are from Venus.

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"

'Now you know why I piddle in his water dish.'

Gee, how long does it take to litter train one of these?

'Don't! It's one of my dad's furballs!'

'It's amazing what they let that kid get away with.'

'Check it out - I used to be filled with rage and controlled by anger, but now - well, now I have a parrot.'

Their flirtation ground to a halt when she heard his dog-talking voice.

'Great. Nice going. Right in the water.'

'Is that how your brain works? 'Cause that sounds primitive.'

"Wait - you get excited when the humans come hom? Dude, you've been watching too many dog shows."

"Only one of my lives was a bowl of cherries."

"Rags, I told you not to let Larry up on the furniture."

"Take us to your leader!"

We're halfway through teaching her to roll over.

"... and make sure your head is on the fan. That's the best place for a nap."

"Mittens found it! It was stuck in the sofa."

"…Ok, tough guy, see this scar? Prius hit me—didn’t even hear it coming." "I got that beat. Right here: three-year-old woke me from a nap with a fork."

"Don’t look at me. You’re the one who brought him the newspaper."

"I'm not angry, I'm just very disappointed."

Bitchbark Canoe

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough