Dog Whisperers Pillows

'My owner asked me a question and I did that cute, little 'Head Tilt' thing and...'

Houdini.

Beware of Salivating Dog

"I didn't have time to take him to the dog trainer. Luckily, they have an online course."

'Darn! They've put some horrible blue chemical in the water: We can't drink that...'

Dilemma - 'They've been gone for ages and it looks like they're not coming back. The first thing I have to figure out is how to pay the rent.'

"What about my fears?"

Question authority

"Well hey, I have tensions in my life too."

'Bad dog! No blogging!'

'You'll be happy to know that the meter reader and I have arrived at a mutual understanding.'

'Stop introducing me as your bitch!'

"Good news, you don't have imposter syndrome - you really are a good boy."

'I'm blind and my dog smells strange since we've been at the snack bar.'

Happy Home Kennels - No Unauthorised Barking.

"What about commands that violate your moral code?"

"God, they're needy."

'Let's not let some silly carpet come between us being best friends, Carl...'

(Woof!) (My word! I believe I'm speaking french!)

"Sit. But a little more to the left."

"Of course I hear it when you say 'come'. I just choose to ignore it."

Although it wagged enthusiastically, secretly the tail found this game dull and repetitive.

"And so she's all, 'woof'. And I'm like, 'woof?'"

'Here Ben, heel...c'mon boy...it's a long way home, let's go...'

The Labrador Retriever and Boxer mix was initially named the 'Boxers Retriever'. It's domestic work ethic, however, was sadly lacking.

'Next, go to the 'Guard' menu and select 'Bark.''

"He's more of a shoulder dog than a lap dog."

'Why is it he never understands sit , stay or down, but understands spayed and neutered?'

Dogs discussing human commend pet peeves.

'I know I should be thankful I have a good home, but if he talks baby talk to me one more time, I swear I'll go for his throat.'

"I'll have whatever I'm hearing being opened in the kitchen."

'It's not all in your head. Invisible fencing is real.'

Rex talks about his life goals.

"Rex, Rex, put your glasses on! Don't sniff that bottom, it's not another dog: it's a skunk!"

"I don’t know how many ways I can explain it. One morning you’ll just wake up and know that you’re in love."