Dog Whisperers T-Shirts

'My owner asked me a question and I did that cute, little 'Head Tilt' thing and...'

Houdini.

Beware of Salivating Dog

"What about my fears?"

"I didn't have time to take him to the dog trainer. Luckily, they have an online course."

'Darn! They've put some horrible blue chemical in the water: We can't drink that...'

Dilemma - 'They've been gone for ages and it looks like they're not coming back. The first thing I have to figure out is how to pay the rent.'

"Well hey, I have tensions in my life too."

Question authority

'You'll be happy to know that the meter reader and I have arrived at a mutual understanding.'

'Bad dog! No blogging!'

'Stop introducing me as your bitch!'

"He's more of a shoulder dog than a lap dog."

"And so she's all, 'woof'. And I'm like, 'woof?'"

"Sit. But a little more to the left."

(Woof!) (My word! I believe I'm speaking french!)

"God, they're needy."

"I'll have whatever I'm hearing being opened in the kitchen."

"Good news, you don't have imposter syndrome - you really are a good boy."

"What about commands that violate your moral code?"

'Let's not let some silly carpet come between us being best friends, Carl...'

Happy Home Kennels - No Unauthorised Barking.

'Why is it he never understands sit , stay or down, but understands spayed and neutered?'

"Of course I hear it when you say 'come'. I just choose to ignore it."

Although it wagged enthusiastically, secretly the tail found this game dull and repetitive.

'I'm blind and my dog smells strange since we've been at the snack bar.'

'It's not all in your head. Invisible fencing is real.'

'Next, go to the 'Guard' menu and select 'Bark.''

Dogs discussing human commend pet peeves.

Rex talks about his life goals.

'Here Ben, heel...c'mon boy...it's a long way home, let's go...'

'I know I should be thankful I have a good home, but if he talks baby talk to me one more time, I swear I'll go for his throat.'

"So much for spelling out our words."

"And so now I'm supposed to be the faithful companion who goes for help?"

"We'd like a building where a sweet little cairn terrier can bark once in a while without the neighbor's getting absolutely hysterical."