Poultry Parent Gifts

Nervous Chicken in the maternity ward.

'I don't NEED a warrant!'

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Playing Fetch.

Polly txt speak

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"Why do they do that?"

"He was overly socialized as a puppy."

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

"No no, I said sit!!"

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

"Quick, start the car!"

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

"It get it – you're hungry."

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

"Hey Lady this is a sixty zone!"

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

Cat Nip.

Pinocchio's nose used by cat as a scratching post

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"He was a very good boy."

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."