Parrot Parent Gifts

'You're going to go on a diet.'

"I think what Polly really want is approval."

'Polly wants a cracker! Fetch!'

'Hello, Amnesty International?'

"He'll talk you to death."

'I'm bored.'

'You reek of crackers.'

"Bravo!"

'I washed his mouth out with soap, and I think he swallowed some.'

'It's the last time you get shore leave on your own!'

'As usual, Freddie, you'll be our lookout in the tree.'

'I should try the polyclinic, sir.'

"How come you never get the kind of granola with the chocolate chips in it?"

'I don't care if the Louis XV style is fashionable these days. I'm not going to use this wooden stump my wife gave me.'

"An A-plus in plagiarism! I am so proud of you darling!"

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

'Talking parrot £10. Sulking parrot £2.'

"...Now say after me...whose a pretty boy..."

"Someone order 200 kilos of crackers?"

"Shhhh. Let me do the talking."

"I dictated my essay to my parrot. Unfortunately, my cat then ate my homework."

"...And why is it always my job to change the newspaper?..."

"I will not tolerate that sort of language in this house!"

"I don't actually talk, I just mimic sounds."

"I ask you - Wolly and Doodle! What sort of names are they?"

"He can afford a bigger cage. His old tax forms line the bottom."

"Amazing mimic, copies everything I text."

"Polly want's a cracker, with a nice piece of stilton."

'I have a story for your radio pet show....'

"I understand they're not as likely to talk if you have two of them together."

"May I speak freely?"

"Oh! He must be sick."

'Where did you get the idea that crackers are a minimum daily requirement?'

'I'll tell you a secret if you promise your parrot won't repeat it.'

Polly had Eunice so angry that she was tempted to break the fourth wall...