Potted Plant Ponderer T-Shirts

The Fireside Jungle: But specimens should never be introduced unless you know how to look after them.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

Happy thoughts

Sun Flower.

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

'Well,we had a good run.' - Worldwide Hops Shortage.

"Leave it you guys! We have this EVERY-SINGLE-TIME we go anywhere!!"

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

'Hello, are you an endangered species or can I eat you?'

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

"You've got to understand, in my family Dad was the poodle and Mom was the pit bull."

Guy on island sees giant ship in bottle.

"I appreciate you have a real passion for music Mr Hibberd. . . but I can see you're going to struggle with the piano."

"Big deal! My digital picture frame can hold a thousand pictures!"

'Do you ever worry about our global footprint?'

The Old Dun Cow - Bitter & twisted.

"But is it..?"

"It's almost as if you can get lost in it, Timmy. Timmy?"

Fish Food

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

"Yes, there will be questions but you're unquestionably the nation's most badass mom."

"He had help. There were architecture specialists, costume specialists, angel specialists..."

"Who's next?"

'I wonder how many board feet are in this tree.'

Six months later they would be sharing the Nobel Prize, but for now all they could do was stare in amazement at what they had discovered...two incredibly well preserved specimens from the styrofoam age.'

'Am I covered if a car falls on my tree?'

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

Fin (The end).

This could be interesting...

"All I'm saying, Dear, is that sometimes I get tired of vegetarian restaurants!"

Square root of chicken is egg.

'I bark, therefore I am.'

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?