Pothead Humorist Pillows

''What's in the bag, lady?''

"Is this Haiku poopery?"

'We've got to stop him watching Robert Peston.'

"Phew..I've been on my feet all day... How do you get these hooves off?"

"It's our largest truck...and it comes with a spare car."

Many clowns in rowboat

"See what I mean, it keeps making funny noises."

'Italian design, German engineering...' - 'All you'd expect in a British car.'

'Saint Francis changes his mind about animals'

'Two beef and pork by-products and a turkey dog, please!'

"Can I help it if my shoes don't last?"

"Cash for clunkers 2.0"

"My last dog always too a right there."

' Look at these yolk stains.I figure he was killed here,then dragged out to the wall to make it look like an accident.'

"There are three courses of action we can take now - I can call you Ace, Chief, or Big Guy."

'What is it with mares and Iberians?!'

"I keep telling you, poppy-seed bagels are nothing but trouble."

For Your Dog

Humpty Dumpty sat in a bath.

'Be sure to take along a pooper-scooper so you can comply with any pet waste laws that may exist where you land.'

"Let's go around the room and say one interesting fact about ourselves."

Legal Cannabis Plants: Free One Get One Buy.

Beer-head

"I'm Bob, but my friends call me Rusty, on account of my red hair."

"Being a vegetarian is one thing, but now you're hotdogging."

"Molting or non molting?"

'Now, remember, when we get in there, let me do all the talking.'

"Injuries are a tricky business. Break a leg and they shoot you; twist an ankle and they put you out to stud."

Man taking notes over the shoulders of other men

'OK gentlemen that's enough. Now, who wants to tell me how this all started?'

Potato Funeral Planning