Pothead Humorist Gifts

Well, I don't care if the cuffs are hurting your wrists, sailor boy! I want to know what this green leafy substance is right now!... And maybe we should check that pipe of yours too, huh?

''What's in the bag, lady?''

'Take me to your feeder,'

"Is this Haiku poopery?"

'We've got to stop him watching Robert Peston.'

"Phew..I've been on my feet all day... How do you get these hooves off?"

Many clowns in rowboat

"It's our largest truck...and it comes with a spare car."

"See what I mean, it keeps making funny noises."

'He had a hop-on part in a David Attenborough special.'

'Italian design, German engineering...' - 'All you'd expect in a British car.'

"Can I help it if my shoes don't last?"

'Two beef and pork by-products and a turkey dog, please!'

'Saint Francis changes his mind about animals'

"Cash for clunkers 2.0"

"My last dog always too a right there."

Humpty Dumpty's Cat. You really gotta learn to land on your feet.

' Look at these yolk stains.I figure he was killed here,then dragged out to the wall to make it look like an accident.'

"There are three courses of action we can take now - I can call you Ace, Chief, or Big Guy."

'What is it with mares and Iberians?!'

"I keep telling you, poppy-seed bagels are nothing but trouble."

'Nooo...every day is father's day.'

'Be sure to take along a pooper-scooper so you can comply with any pet waste laws that may exist where you land.'

Humpty Dumpty sat in a bath.

For Your Dog

"Let's go around the room and say one interesting fact about ourselves."

Legal Cannabis Plants: Free One Get One Buy.

Beer-head

"I'm Bob, but my friends call me Rusty, on account of my red hair."

"Being a vegetarian is one thing, but now you're hotdogging."

"Molting or non molting?"

'Now, remember, when we get in there, let me do all the talking.'

"Injuries are a tricky business. Break a leg and they shoot you; twist an ankle and they put you out to stud."

Man taking notes over the shoulders of other men

'OK gentlemen that's enough. Now, who wants to tell me how this all started?'