Post-party Recovery Pillows

"Dude, last night was nuts."

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

Spa

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

As a rule, all surprise parties start out with good intentions.

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

"Yeah, my life flashed before my eyes!...OK, it was food - all the food I've ever eaten flashed before my eyes."

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

"The doctor was more lucid today! That's a good sign!"

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

"Because you're a mechanic, we're going to do your hydrotherapy in a car pool."

'Ignore them, Charlie. They're nothing but philistines. I liked your poetry, truly I did!'

"Call me a taxi if I start foaming at the mouth."

'The food here isn't too bad, just try not to swallow !'

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

"We're doing everything we can to make him comfortable, short of dressing up as male doctors."

'It didn't hurt at all. You gave it to my teddy bear.'

'I thought it might help you get your mind off things. It's a story of hope and survival. Nothing at all like your story.'

A robot is in hospital, he has a card saying 'get welded soon.'

'Okay darlin' if you need more whipped cream just hit the red button.'

"Should be back soon. He's just out catching a few x-rays."

'What's for desert?'

'You're looking well.'

A man sews broken hearts back together.

Kid in hospital has I.V. in him that is a straw.

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

'I've had so many transplants, I feel like a garden nursery.'

'Doctor, the patient would like to know when he can return to being an overbearing, stressed-out pig?'

"You just made medical history Mr Burnside. Your're the first one ever struck by lightning while on a bed pan."