Post-party Recovery Pillows

"Dude, last night was nuts."

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

Speed Dating for Turtles

Spa

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

As a rule, all surprise parties start out with good intentions.

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."

"Yeah, my life flashed before my eyes!...OK, it was food - all the food I've ever eaten flashed before my eyes."

"The doctor was more lucid today! That's a good sign!"

"Call me a taxi if I start foaming at the mouth."

"Because you're a mechanic, we're going to do your hydrotherapy in a car pool."

'The food here isn't too bad, just try not to swallow !'

'Ignore them, Charlie. They're nothing but philistines. I liked your poetry, truly I did!'

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

"We're doing everything we can to make him comfortable, short of dressing up as male doctors."

'It didn't hurt at all. You gave it to my teddy bear.'

'I thought it might help you get your mind off things. It's a story of hope and survival. Nothing at all like your story.'

A robot is in hospital, he has a card saying 'get welded soon.'

'What's for desert?'

"Should be back soon. He's just out catching a few x-rays."

'Okay darlin' if you need more whipped cream just hit the red button.'

'You're looking well.'

A man sews broken hearts back together.

Kid in hospital has I.V. in him that is a straw.

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

The nurses here are so slow. Could this blanket be any thinner? The buttons on the tv remote are too darn small. Although her health had improved, Mabel's condition remained critical.

'You're either getting smaller or they're giving you bigger pillows.'