Post-party Relaxation Pillows

"Good God, man. You look like you didn't sleep in a hole last night."

"Only three more miles and tonight we're good for tiramisu!"

Professional woman in pub

"Could I have a Tommy Tippee cup for my friend's beer, as he's been using a concrete breaker all day."

"My boss said I have narcolepsy. She could have waited to tell me after I woke up."

"You want real pressure?!! Try where I work."

'A Fucking Drink'

"Sometimes I'd like to smack the stock market across the face and tell it to just chill."

"Hey! What's with the 'home run trot'? You struck out!"

"I'm finally done celebrating the recent election."

"Dude, last night was nuts."

Santa entering a pool for a swim

"Held up at work? You could have called."

The Nargleys perform their post-holiday ritual of trying to blow all the needles off the tree in one breath,

Your hats off! Salon now open

I am ready for my wine.

Reminder from my Telebartender. Gotta go!

"I am ready for my wine."

'What I like about Christmas is that wonderful feeling of freedom when it's all over.'

"Single malt scotches are good but I prefer regular old comfort booze."

Post-Pandemic Party

"It's five o'clock somewhere."

"Alright mate? Fancy popping out later for a couple of units?"

"We've had our vaccine shots and our flu shots. So to round things off, we'll have a couple of tequila shots!"

"You've been listening to the mellow sound of Station EZZZ."

'What are you grinning at? It's only 5.30.'

When Lockdown Ends (our locks after lockdown)

Lockdown Easing

I know we just lost! We're throwing him off the top of the stadium!

"What time does the afterparty start?"

Underneath an overweight.

"No in-laws, no office parties, no shopping...I'm experiencing a Post Holiday High!"

'Do you have something in mind?'

"I know . . . your job's a pressure cooker. So will tonight be natural or quick release?"

"Re toxing Dave"