Post-holiday Realist Pillows

"Do we even have a garbage disposal?"

"I hate this time of year."

'Well, the magic of Christmas is officially over, unless it includes waking up to a septic tank backup.'

"It was only when I started to write the story of my life that I realised I'd forgotten to have one."

'After talking to him. it's clear our only hope for a bonus this year is Santa Claus.'

"This year let's choose a Christmas card design that reflects the situation the country is in. Let's go for a design that says: Bah humbug!"

"Post-holiday dieting will be much easier this year. Our disposable cash flow will be diverted."

"Just sitting here widening. You?"

'He's determined not to enjoy himself this Christmas.'

"My new year's resolution. . . .Not to drink out of the toilet."

"Those image resolutions are crystal clear, but it's my New Year's resolutions that are getting pretty fuzzy."

"My primary challenge is to strip away the hardened carapace of societal expectations..."

Dear Diary...Resolutions

'I can't read my New Year's resolutions -- I must have spilled beer on them last night.'

The Nargleys perform their post-holiday ritual of trying to blow all the needles off the tree in one breath,

'When did the world get into such a big hurry?'

Who am I kidding?

Success Without Effort

'I hate Christmas!'

Japanese disaster

'What I like about Christmas is that wonderful feeling of freedom when it's all over.'

"It's a list of tariffs to be paid"

Christmas in the Streets.

"When people talk about a 'staycation' this isn't what they mean!"

December 26th . . . The Returns

"This Thanksgiving, we're going to serve whatever we can get from the food bank."

'Could you put me into an induced coma for four weeks?'

'I know I promised to get off my backside and take up a sort once the Olympics had finished - but it ain't over yet!'

"There are never sleigh tracks on our roof, or soot tracks on our carpet. Maybe you're just fake news?"

"I'm having a dry January...Dry Martini, dry sherry, dry gin..."

Underneath an overweight.

Eight nights of excuses

Resolutions.

"Everything on my bucket list was canceled out by my new year's resolutions."

'I'm pretty sure I�m seeing you due to bad nog, but as a struggling small business owner trying to keep costs down, I�m wondering if you'd deliver these bills on your rounds?'