New Year Realist Pillows

"Well there goes the last of the NEW YEARS resolutions."

"I hate this time of year."

Road Forks in the Road: No Way and Yes Way.

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

THUMBS UP FOR THE NEW YEAR!

Woman talking romantically whilst man talks about measuring the scullery.

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

"It was only when I started to write the story of my life that I realised I'd forgotten to have one."

'After talking to him. it's clear our only hope for a bonus this year is Santa Claus.'

"This year let's choose a Christmas card design that reflects the situation the country is in. Let's go for a design that says: Bah humbug!"

Early versions of the new year's eve ball drop proved less popular among revelers,

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

'He's determined not to enjoy himself this Christmas.'

"My new year's resolution. . . .Not to drink out of the toilet."

Warning Being Alive On This Planet May Cause Cancer

'Happy New Year!'

Dear Diary...Resolutions

"My primary challenge is to strip away the hardened carapace of societal expectations..."

'I can't read my New Year's resolutions -- I must have spilled beer on them last night.'

"Those image resolutions are crystal clear, but it's my New Year's resolutions that are getting pretty fuzzy."

Who am I kidding?

"If you say Happy Moo Year one more time I'm going to have to slap you!"

'I hate Christmas!'

"It's no good, Martin, it's still in the room."

Next years calendar.

'We made it, Happy New Year.'

"Oh, no! I typed up all my New Year's Resolutions without saving copies, only to drop them in the shredder by accident! Now I'll never remember them! How clumsy of me! Oh, well!"

"Don't worry, sir - we've got all possible entrances covered!"

'What I like about Christmas is that wonderful feeling of freedom when it's all over.'

Japanese disaster

Waiting for 2018

"It's a list of tariffs to be paid"