Post-holiday Realist T-Shirts

"Do we even have a garbage disposal?"

"I hate this time of year."

'Well, the magic of Christmas is officially over, unless it includes waking up to a septic tank backup.'

"It was only when I started to write the story of my life that I realised I'd forgotten to have one."

"Post-holiday dieting will be much easier this year. Our disposable cash flow will be diverted."

'After talking to him. it's clear our only hope for a bonus this year is Santa Claus.'

"This year let's choose a Christmas card design that reflects the situation the country is in. Let's go for a design that says: Bah humbug!"

"Just sitting here widening. You?"

"My new year's resolution. . . .Not to drink out of the toilet."

'He's determined not to enjoy himself this Christmas.'

"Those image resolutions are crystal clear, but it's my New Year's resolutions that are getting pretty fuzzy."

"My primary challenge is to strip away the hardened carapace of societal expectations..."

Dear Diary...Resolutions

'I can't read my New Year's resolutions -- I must have spilled beer on them last night.'

'When did the world get into such a big hurry?'

Who am I kidding?

Success Without Effort

'I hate Christmas!'

'What I like about Christmas is that wonderful feeling of freedom when it's all over.'

"It's a list of tariffs to be paid"

Japanese disaster

Christmas in the Streets.

"When people talk about a 'staycation' this isn't what they mean!"

December 26th . . . The Returns

"There are never sleigh tracks on our roof, or soot tracks on our carpet. Maybe you're just fake news?"

'Could you put me into an induced coma for four weeks?'

'I know I promised to get off my backside and take up a sort once the Olympics had finished - but it ain't over yet!'

Underneath an overweight.

"I'm having a dry January...Dry Martini, dry sherry, dry gin..."

"This Thanksgiving, we're going to serve whatever we can get from the food bank."

Eight nights of excuses

Resolutions.

'I'm pretty sure I�m seeing you due to bad nog, but as a struggling small business owner trying to keep costs down, I�m wondering if you'd deliver these bills on your rounds?'

"No in-laws, no office parties, no shopping...I'm experiencing a Post Holiday High!"