Portion Control Warrior T-Shirts

'We had to discontinue the Super Colossal size. No one could afford the flood insurance.'

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

'What I like best about a magnum of Champagne is, it's a controlled portion.'

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

All-Day Breakfast

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

"They should have quit after deep dish."

"Now I wish we hadn't ordered all those appetizers."

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

"We've gone 'Glutton-Free'."

Genie.

Yes, I Want Fries With That.

"My father always said...eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince...and dinner like a beggar."

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

"I'm Roberto, and I'll be your waiter this evening. This is Carl. He's in charge of portion control."

'I'm prescribing magnets for your weight-loss program. They'll keep this on your refrigerator door.'

I find that I can cut back on calories if I use only one chopstick.

Go large or go home!

'Yum Yum Bakery - a subsidiary of Slim-Down Weight Loss Centres.'

'I'll pay double for half as much.'

"You asked me to keep a food diary, this is last week's!"

"The budget wouldn't stretch to a gastric band."

'To help me stay on my diet, I've hired a portion control officer.'

Actually, it's healthier to eat smaller meals more often throughout the day.

Birthday Cakes for Dieters...

"I don't know why I put weight on, I hardly eat enough to keep a sparrow alive."

Weight Watchers 'Rona Routines: Flatten the Curves

"Who had the Lumberjack fruit cup?"

"Would you like to supersize that?"

"Just a heads-up... when you count calories, high score doesn't win."ories/high score

"I'm glad you enjoyed your meal, Sir. Did you save some room for shame?"

"Just one menu for us, please. We don't want to overeat."