Portion Control Prankster Gifts

Plate of Nacho

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

'What I like best about a magnum of Champagne is, it's a controlled portion.'

"It's from the local micro brewery..."

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

"They should have quit after deep dish."

"I just finished a 10-day cleanse. Now it's time to retox."

"Now I wish we hadn't ordered all those appetizers."

'Word to the wise: Always check the cheese for pills.'

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

"We've gone 'Glutton-Free'."

Yes, I Want Fries With That.

'... we've got a crowd of, oh I'd say fourteen million organisms here for the annual 'Salmonella potato salad bowl'!'

'These are my dieting glasses. They magnify the food so I think I'm eating more than I really am.'

"My father always said...eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince...and dinner like a beggar."

History's First Prop Gag

"I'm Roberto, and I'll be your waiter this evening. This is Carl. He's in charge of portion control."

Window Cleaner asks for help.

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

Fitz wasn't sure if this was a legitimate rescue or just more culinary trickery.

'I'll pay double for half as much.'

"You asked me to keep a food diary, this is last week's!"

"Did someone eat my edamame ice pack?!"

Birthday Cakes for Dieters...

"I'm glad you enjoyed your meal, Sir. Did you save some room for shame?"

"Just a heads-up... when you count calories, high score doesn't win."ories/high score

It's not a fortune - it's a list of food code violations at the Chinese restaurant next door.

"I don't know why I put weight on, I hardly eat enough to keep a sparrow alive."

"Just one menu for us, please. We don't want to overeat."

Diet Food...& lots of it

"It's only 5 calories a serving...but a serving is a crumb."

'Let's take a break and go laugh at customers in the produce section trying to open those little plastic bags.'

"Why is this egg roll pink with purple and yellow stripes?"

'What do you mean, microbiotic?' 'Very small portions.'

'You are what you eat!'