Portfolio Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Can he call you back? He's viewing his favourite internet site.'

Aggressive Investments - No Sissies!

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

'Now that I have your attention...'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

Profit

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

Build Your Own Portfolio

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

Wall Street Couch

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

Day trading.

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

"We're counting on you to reverse this trend before this afternoon's investors meeting."

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

US dollar perched on fragile house of cards.

Woman at a desk with in out boxes marked Market Up Market Down.

'Stocks rose on the rumor that the market is mostly rumor-driven.'

Men on escalators reading newspapers, shares are going up on the up escalator and down on the down escalator.

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'