Investment Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Sure, it may be great for us, but it's hell on the markets."

"Today on Wall Street, yesterday's panic selling was replaced by panic buying."

'Your best hedge against a down market is having lots of money.'

"I'm looking for a hedge against my hedge funds."

Risk Management - ''Be careful' All you can tell me is 'be careful''

'It's his only form of exercise these days...chasing yield.'

"If we're being honest, it was your decision to follow my recommendations that cost you money."

'Charles, I want you to meet Joel. You have lots in common. He also thinks he knows how to time the market.'

'Diversify, diversify, diversify. Never keep all your eggs in one basket, unless it's Easter.'

'The market moved higher today on rumors that the market would move higher today.'

'Thank goodness we invested in long term bonds.'

Stocks Go Down.

'If that doesn't set your tail to wagging, nothing will.'

"What do you have in investment-grade reds?"

"Careful burying all your bones. We get a cold snap and your assets are frozen!"

'I thought you were supposed to be a day trader!'

"Three wishes? Dream on. That was in the heady days before venture capital and advertising revenue disappeared."

'On Wall Street, stocks and bonds dropped on news that past performance is no guarantee of future results...'

'Ready for another roll of the dice?'

'Before you get into the market, we need to test your pain threshold...'

"Do you have a get better soon card for someone's retirement investment?"

'I'm a little concerned about my financial advisor. He said to keep 60% in equities, 25% in bonds, and 25% in cash.'

"This bond is so boring we gave it a Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z rating."

'Don't turn the page yet - I'm not finished!'

"Today share prices fell sharply on the fear that share prices may fall sharply."

"Do you have any working capital?"

'We did bounce around for a while, but as you can see, we're now back on course.'

We won't have to face any angry stockholders. We're running our annual stockholders meeting as an online webcast.

Junk Bonds

'I don't know about you, but I really don't like the look of that yield curve.'

Day trading.

'I've invested my heart and soul in this company. I need a receipt for tax purposes.'

'Consider yourself lucky, Eddie. 'Break-even' is the new 'win-win'.'

"Up a hundred and sixteen points! If only we'd had the foresight to invest ten minutes ago."

'Exactly how much do you have to speculate before anything starts to accumulate?'