Portfolio Bouncer Gifts

'If it's any consolation, your portfoilo is now in a far better place.'

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

It's okay -- I'm training for the 2020 Olympics.

Brew 'N' Brouhaha

"The club scene is really changing."

Pub restrooms; Thugs - Thugettes

Inhospitality tent.

"Watch out for Brian...he's a bit of a bruiser."

You have had enough

After party at the spill club.

'Now this is a fabulous strategy that has worked flawlessly every year, except for those when it failed miserably.'

Have you hugged your money today?

'I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you're going to get to relive the thrill of building your company up from nothing!'

'Those? Oh, they're nothing serious, they're just rumor trembles.'

First Little Piggy Investment Associates

'Are you looking for something in light blue, or dark blue, chips?'

Club insecurity.

'I see you've renamed your portfolios Moe, Larry and Curley.'

I'm sorry, Miss. I can't involve the bouncer just to "teach somebody a lesson." Menu.

"That's an old photo."

'We have a strict dress code. Can't let you in without a straightjacket and tie.'

Bouncer at the door of family reunion.

"Sorry Sir, no hoodies."

'Whoa Hold up, You need to get you hand stamped,'

'I heard you got a job at that new club. It must be great."

"What out... this guy's always gatecrashing events for free booze."

"I've been too busy investing my enormous salary to be bothered running the company."

Bouncer.

'Every time I break one of my investment rules, I put $10 in the mistake jar. As of today, it's worth more than my portfolio.'

"Sorry, but it's one in one out."

"Oh, we're not bouncers. We just can't fit through the door."

"I'd like to bounce some ideas off you, B. J..'

"One more thing...don't upset the bouncer!"