Border Bouncer Gifts

Illegal immigration...crossing the border.

'Here's an opportunity: Ride a donkey into Mexico, become a citizen, and then sneek back across the border and get a job.'

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

'Never mind about buying that trampoline. I love your new bed!'

Please buzz off. That's my flower!

It's okay -- I'm training for the 2020 Olympics.

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

Brew 'N' Brouhaha

"The club scene is really changing."

Pub restrooms; Thugs - Thugettes

You Are Now Entering Texas Think Big

Inhospitality tent.

You have had enough

"Watch out for Brian...he's a bit of a bruiser."

After party at the spill club.

Club insecurity.

I'm sorry, Miss. I can't involve the bouncer just to "teach somebody a lesson." Menu.

Crossing Borders

"Or we could go to the exhibition chronicling in depth, the development of the hip hop scene..."

"That's an old photo."

'That's Fred, the new hire. He's one of those corporate renaissance types who erases organization-chart boundaries wherever he goes!'

'We have a strict dress code. Can't let you in without a straightjacket and tie.'

Bouncer at the door of family reunion.

"Sorry Sir, no hoodies."

"What out... this guy's always gatecrashing events for free booze."

'Whoa Hold up, You need to get you hand stamped,'

'Make up your mind! First, you tell me to color within the lines, then you tell me to think outside the box.'

'I heard you got a job at that new club. It must be great."

"Oh, we're not bouncers. We just can't fit through the door."

Bouncer.

Proposed Changes To The Laws Of Gravity

"Sorry, but it's one in one out."

"Sorry Mate, no trainers."

"One more thing...don't upset the bouncer!"

Hap's Bar & Grill: 'Stress manager on duty.'