Porridge Appreciator T-Shirts

"My mother is an erratic cook: My dad's porridge is always too hot, hers too cold, but thank goodness, mine is always just right..."

Any time is cake o'clock

'I don't do so much of the you-can't catch-me-I'm-the -gingerbread-man material these days...'

A Venus cow trap.

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

'Where exactly did you get this 'Lifestyle Guru' from?'

'That's right Bill, I caught the Gingerbread Man...'

"Dear, will you sprint down to the store and get a box of wheat germ and a pint of yoghurt?"

'I've fallen in love and i've fallen in porage and believe me: porage is better.'

A child with a parasol is blown off the Chain Pier in Brighton

'We share the load - she cooks it, I eat it.'

'What he lacks in intelligence he makes up for in stupidity.'

InAction Figure, Couch Potato Man

Reading Goldilocks - 'I know you don't like porridge, but bears eat anything.'

'Now that I have your attention...'

'Lady, you're steaming up my window!'

'This isn't his nap. This is his pre-nap. Then comes his nap. Followed by his post-nap.'

A Cow watching a horror movie.

"Can you keep a secret?"

"He's lazy and not very handy around the house. But I'm a cartoonist, and he provides me with a ton of material."

"It's not straw - it's rattan."

Stay at Home Yellowstone.

Evolution of Chair

"By the way, hon, great food, great wine, great you."

'Me name's Murphy, I'm Oirish and no cracks about couch potato.'

'Actually, I'm not out foraging, I'm out porridging.'

"I know you won the lottery George, but is this the best you can up with?"

'How about a drink?' - 'You've got gravy.'

Couch Potato Romance - 'I don't give up the remote on the first date.'

'His 'get-up-and-go' got up and went ages ago'

"I have to say, you being less jubilant isn't much of a New Year's resolution."

'...but he does put up a lovely shelf.'