Porridge Appreciator Pillows

"My mother is an erratic cook: My dad's porridge is always too hot, hers too cold, but thank goodness, mine is always just right..."

Any time is cake o'clock

A Venus cow trap.

'I don't do so much of the you-can't catch-me-I'm-the -gingerbread-man material these days...'

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

Origins Of Evolution

'That's right Bill, I caught the Gingerbread Man...'

'Where exactly did you get this 'Lifestyle Guru' from?'

'What he lacks in intelligence he makes up for in stupidity.'

A child with a parasol is blown off the Chain Pier in Brighton

'We share the load - she cooks it, I eat it.'

'I've fallen in love and i've fallen in porage and believe me: porage is better.'

"Dear, will you sprint down to the store and get a box of wheat germ and a pint of yoghurt?"

'Lady, you're steaming up my window!'

InAction Figure, Couch Potato Man

Reading Goldilocks - 'I know you don't like porridge, but bears eat anything.'

'Now that I have your attention...'

Stay at Home Yellowstone.

'It's from the local microbrewery.'

"Can you keep a secret?"

"It's not straw - it's rattan."

A Cow watching a horror movie.

'This isn't his nap. This is his pre-nap. Then comes his nap. Followed by his post-nap.'

"He's lazy and not very handy around the house. But I'm a cartoonist, and he provides me with a ton of material."

'How about a drink?' - 'You've got gravy.'

Ok, stop beaming up the porcupine.

"By the way, hon, great food, great wine, great you."

Evolution of Chair

'Actually, I'm not out foraging, I'm out porridging.'

'Me name's Murphy, I'm Oirish and no cracks about couch potato.'

"Shall I move?"

"I know you won the lottery George, but is this the best you can up with?"

Couch Potato Romance - 'I don't give up the remote on the first date.'

'His 'get-up-and-go' got up and went ages ago'

'...but he does put up a lovely shelf.'