Popularity Contest Analyst Gifts

"When I don't like someone, I friend them just so I can unfriend them."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

Trump Poutine

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

The Real Russian history

"Soy latte for 'Actually Frankenstein is the doctor I don’t have a name.'"

Others' perceptions (which aren't always true)

"He's Right Behind Me, Isn't He?"

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

"The poll results are in. Our lies are resonating with the public way more than our opponent's lies."

"You can't fool people all of the time, but you can get a lot of them to believe fake news!"

Romney: 'Corporations are people! We just pay a lot less taxes than you!'

"I didn't mean anything by it. I don't know why I said it. I just said it, that's all. Twiggy."

Sissy Spacek

'Perhaps it's time we re-branded.'

'Wow! Can't you just feel the safe-ness!'

Just a sec – I want to see which wishes get the most likes before I decide.

"We need to get a better grip on the truth in this campaign, and choke the life out of it."

"The last thing that I intend to do is to stand here making a display of my patriotism."

The Trump baby blimp ffffftts into the sunset.

Bad Influence of TV

'I've discovered that smart doesn't make you popular: Cool does...'

The Evolution of Pop Culture Scapegoats

"It must be a youth culture!" (Lager, boobs, lager, babes,footie, girls,lager.)

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'

Wright Wing Conspiracy.

'My credibility is on the line with this speech.' 'Who do you think you're kidding?'

Trump's time is running out

"What factors influenced your decision to use this particular exit?"

Words from a Senator.

Oh yeah, that's right. Now everyone wants to know the radiator cow.

Obama Campaign.

'Nobody likes me at school. I need a personal assistant, a trainer and a P.R. firm!'

I know why your insults aren't bothering anyone. Tell me meathead. We live in an insult culture. People are accustomed to getting insulted, and by professional critics. Simone Cowell, Bill O'Reilly, Dr. Laura