Popularity Analyst Gifts

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

Men's business romper.

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

Who should be the next eco-club president? The most vegan? The most carbon neutral? The most into solar? Eco-club. But we need someone who will attract kids to the environmental cause. Then it's obvious. The most popular. Or most athletic!

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

'And, for the student with the most hits on his or her Facebook page, the award goes to Lisa Skemley!'

"How do you love me. Count the ways!"

By the year 2500, 1 in 10 academics will devote their entire career to divining the meaning of the word 'sussudio'.

"Soy latte for 'Actually Frankenstein is the doctor I don’t have a name.'"

Others' perceptions (which aren't always true)

"He's Right Behind Me, Isn't He?"

U.S. demographic affecting senate representation.

"I can't believe I sold my soul for platforms, they're so last season"

'My outer self loves your inner self, but my inner self can't stand your outer self.'

Sissy Spacek

Lover's leap and Infatuation leap.

"He's our new trend-spotter?"

"I didn't mean anything by it. I don't know why I said it. I just said it, that's all. Twiggy."

Fashion Mag - Totally in - So last season

Kevin: King of the Social Influencers.

'Perhaps it's time we re-branded.'

"Surely two people as intelligent as we are can work out some method of falling in love."

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'

The Evolution of Pop Culture Scapegoats

"It must be a youth culture!" (Lager, boobs, lager, babes,footie, girls,lager.)

'Love is a subconscious recognition of matching neuroses.'

'This is really going to tarnish his legacy, Al.'

New From The People Who Brought You I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-A-Petroleum-By-Product Sandwich Spread

Designer Republic of Shoreditch

"Dwayne is very important to us. He knows exactly when a trend will become a craze."

I know why your insults aren't bothering anyone. Tell me meathead. We live in an insult culture. People are accustomed to getting insulted, and by professional critics. Simone Cowell, Bill O'Reilly, Dr. Laura

'Nobody likes me at school. I need a personal assistant, a trainer and a P.R. firm!'

"I don't know what's happening, but lately I've been feeling afraid of my own clothes"