Poop Patrol Hero Pillows

2 A.M. on a Moonless Night

"I've been calling, but he's not picking up."

"Cheers mate, you've done me a solid."

'Has anybody seen the flyswatter?'

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

"Poppy has left the dog kennel. I repeat Poppy has left the dog kennel...Yes, yes, we have a code brown!"

Giant sandwich bags.

'Urgh!. . . That's disgusting.'

"No, I said 'sit'."

Pooper scoppers.

A man walks with a dog who has learnt to scoop his own poop.

'Here's my business card.'

'Yes, I got it all.'

"You should've called me sooner!"

"That's Charles' new gun dog."

'You talk about a clean dog!'

'American Harlequin ladybird. It can give one quite a nasty nip.'

Human Cull: People who don't care where their cigarette butts end up.

"She's looking for just the right place to poopie."

It's a dreadful affair, Watson. Flagrant failure to use the poopy bins.

Hey, don't just throw that on the ground! What were you raised by people?

"He got kicked out of the park for being a litter bug."

The Evolution of Man.

'Whoa! This stream's got a litter problem, John. Check out all the shredded clothes floating downstream.'

Walkies again?

"If someone watched a person walking their dog, then stop to pick up the dog's poop. . . who would they think was in charge?"

'My dog's classically trained.'

'Look out - a snooper from Environmental Health.'

"Here, clean up after yourself."

Poo Bags

"Oh, for goodness sake! I'll change the baby's nappy!"

Poopa-Scoopa

'I suppose everyone collects something.'

"The new minimum wage has had a big impact on the cost of providing social care..."

"I'm not anti-social; I'm just at a point in my life where I find all your friends really, really annoying."