Pompousness Humor Lover Pillows

Human Cull: People who don't know the correct answer, but still try to correct you.

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

A Golden Non-Retriever

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

"Extreme? Maybe. But I have the best behaved school in the district."

"My reflexes are not what they used to be: This is how I catch birds now..."

Funky Facts: Elephants.

'It looks like Mel Brooks is at it again.'

'He thinks he's the cat's meow ever since he was made department head.'

"Could you put me 'on hold' Mom? I could use a hug."

Soldier With Mouse Ears.

Giving thanks.

'I'm sorry, boss, but you tell them to leave.'

'So, Harkness, I see that you have a very checkered background!'

"Well, it looks like it's just me left to get toasted. Have a great day!"

We couldn't help but notice, Mary, that you got a new fleece, and it's white as snow.

A cats perspective of a desert

'Let me put it this way...don't start watching any miniseries on TV.'

'Don't make me use my chemical weapons...'

Flo's Christmas Lights: 'I really like what you've done with yawr Christmas lights this yeaw Flo.'

Great gift ideas for the older man.

"If you can't sleep, try playing some relaxing human noises."

Mind lost by a mother.

'Perhaps I should clarify. When I told you to drink plenty of fluids...'

'Our days of wine and roses are over, Ethel. We're going to have to settle for champagne and tulips.'

"Dinner's almost ready, you better not have eaten anything on the way home!"

"I feel helpless."

Cloud quartet

"Another year and another inch for your belt buckle."

"Can you call my wife and tell her how fast I was going that fast? She'll never believe me."