Pompousness Humor Lover Pillows

Human Cull: People who don't know the correct answer, but still try to correct you.

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

A Golden Non-Retriever

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

"My reflexes are not what they used to be: This is how I catch birds now..."

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

Funky Facts: Elephants.

"Extreme? Maybe. But I have the best behaved school in the district."

'He thinks he's the cat's meow ever since he was made department head.'

Soldier With Mouse Ears.

"Could you put me 'on hold' Mom? I could use a hug."

Giving thanks.

'So, Harkness, I see that you have a very checkered background!'

A cats perspective of a desert

"Well, it looks like it's just me left to get toasted. Have a great day!"

'I'm sorry, boss, but you tell them to leave.'

'Let me put it this way...don't start watching any miniseries on TV.'

'Don't make me use my chemical weapons...'

Flo's Christmas Lights: 'I really like what you've done with yawr Christmas lights this yeaw Flo.'

"Dinner's almost ready, you better not have eaten anything on the way home!"

'Our days of wine and roses are over, Ethel. We're going to have to settle for champagne and tulips.'

Great gift ideas for the older man.

"If you can't sleep, try playing some relaxing human noises."

"I feel helpless."

Cloud quartet

'I'm the alpha angel.'

"Can you call my wife and tell her how fast I was going that fast? She'll never believe me."