Polyglot Wizard Gifts

'It says here you can talk trash in five languages.'

Natural Disasters

Instructional guide to scribbling

'I have a feeling we are not in Kansas anymore.'

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

"Victims of out-sorcery."

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

Remember, honey, abracadabra doesn't work anymore. Now it's command, option, shift.

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

Orator translates in many languages.

'Charles is a linguist. He speaks three language...golf, baseball and football.'

"Oh well, I'm off the see the orthopedist."

Merlin realizes too late that he shouldn't be hexing while driving.

"Okay brother Bickle, you can keep your underpants on"

'Your resume looks good. Let me hear some of your incantations.'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

Dog Walker

"Right! It's a heart op, neurosurgery and counselling. And I'll have the Wiz"

'Why don't we try a renegotiated buyout offer before we go with the Plague of Rabid Bats thing.'

'I can say 'no' in five different languages: English, Spanish, German, Russian and Karate.'

"Knowing two languages is sure handy when telemarketers call."

'The great thing about string theory is that it ties up quite a few loose ends.'

'Have no fear - I'll have the project completed for you in no time.'

"Wait. Let me have one more try."

'What's the situation about new wands these days?' - 'You can't beat 'compare wands.com.'

"The magic's still there, but the sex is terrible."

'You can be replaced by Harry Potter, you know!'

"The tests came back positive. You're H2O intolerant."

'Hmm, wrong bottle. I guess THIS one must've been the Elixir of Death...'