Polling Nerd Pillows

"There's a 75% probability that the election will go one way or the other, but I wouldn't want you to hold me to that!"

Turkish Democracy

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

'Confusing, dangerous times call for confusing, dangerous leadership!'

Pollster

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

"Europe has learned...yeah, this time we don't need a war to destroy ourselves!"

"This internet survey is asking me to take another survey rating the survey I'm taking."

Transgender Bathroom Debate

'China's on the phone, Mr. President -- they say you're overdrawn.'

"Take Elevator B To The Fourth Floor Then Turn Right..."

Dropping Popularity of Obama.

Lettuce referendum: "I voted romaine."

"The latest poll numbers must be out."

"Oh, I do listen to the voice of the people, filtered of course, through my corporate donors."

No Prison is big enough for William Tweed

'Our poll shows the typical voter is all polled out.'

Schwarzenegger flexes muscle for Californain Governor's race.

'History is made - a major party chooses an African-American presidential candidate!'

Settlement of the Alabama Claims

"You've recorded every one of the referendum debates, how exciting!"

"Your first summit?"

Emmanuel Macron

Bees voting at a Pollen Station.

"Your poll results on't look good. You're trailing 'statistically insignificant'."

'Remember, Fenton, polling results are in the eye of the manipulator.'

CONGRESS, 'He's a middle of the road type? - How can you tell?'

'Turns out Gordon's not Labour's John Major...he's Labour's Ted Heath.'

Carnival Sued Under the Helms Burton Act

'Were you a racist who supported Hillary, or a sexist who supported Obama?'